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I would have slept on the couch, but I really didn’t want to, if you follow me.”She chuckled, and a slightly lecherous grin spread across her face. “The only reason I let you leave last night is because it’s that time of the month. Otherwise I would have asked. And you wouldn’t have slept on the couch, either.”A look of surprise overtook my face. “But ... what about ... I thought you didn’t...” I was perplexed by my hesitation and shyness, wondering why I was having so much trouble verbalizing this to someone to whom I had confessed my feelings just hours earlier.She looked away for a moment and sighed. “It’s hard to explain. Mostly what it is ... I don’t want to get used for sex anymore. I mean, you wouldn’t have recognized me two years ago, I don’t think. I was on telephone chat lines, in online chat rooms, talking to pretty much every guy who came along. I would tell them my name, and within about five minutes they were asking me everything from my cup size to whether I’m shaved. She hunched away from the contact. "Kathy," I repeated a little louder, " we need to discuss this." I don't want to talk about it," she mumbled."Look, you have a problem. That much is obvious, and I'd like to help. Pushing me away is what happened the last time and I let you do it. This time I'm not going to let you." I can't let you help me. I don't know how." It's not a matter of knowing how, it's a matter of letting me in so we can try to find a solution. I love you very much, but I can't help you if you don't let me in. You obviously can't fight this thing alone. C'mon, let me in for once." She shuddered then making it clear that I had hit the mark."Glen, for so long now I have wanted help, but I don't know how to ask. It seems every time that someone gets close to me, I end up getting hurt. I mean, look at my track record. I was having problems, and you up and left me. George did the same thing. I'm not strong enough to take it again." Dammit Kathy, I'm not going anywhere this.
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